Not really news, but on the alt.elvis.king newsgroup we found David Letterman's Top Ten Lisa Marie Presley / Nicolas Cage Explanations.
10. After three months, people grow apart.
9. She wanted Italian for dinner. He wanted Chinese. So they decided to call it quits.
8. Their divorce was part of an obscure provision of the Homeland Security Bill
7. They owed favors to a couple of divorce lawyers.
6. I don't know, we were dehydrated?
5. Nicolas gradually realized that he wasn't going to meet Elvis.
4. Another Saddam trick to deflect attention from his weapons program.
3. He's always busy making movies and she's always busy with... uh... whatever it is she does.
2. Lisa Marie intends to match Jennifer Lopez marriage-for-marriage.
1. Once a woman's been married to Michael Jackson, she has certain expectations.